Psychologist and career consultant at takeoffer.app Svetlana Lenkova believes the best thing to do in this situation is to look for another job.
Abuse is often an emotional roller coaster. An office that runs on the carrot-and-stick method most likely has an abuser. For example, a manager first says something nice about you, then suddenly, for no particular reason, ignores you or lashes out with complaints and imposes fines. First says one thing, then denies it, making it look as though you were not listening carefully. You can say with confidence that your manager is an abuser.
Sometimes a manager sees an employee as a potential threat, fearing, for example, that the employee might take their place. Then the manager will try to belittle the employee's achievements and convince them they are not good enough. You will be blamed for every conflict, and they will always be right.
If a manager feels you are stronger than they are in competence, skills or character, they will try to rob you of your self-confidence. Such a manager often tries to convince the employee that nobody needs them and that they will never find a better job.
If a manager constantly monitors you, makes you report on every step, reads your email, listens to your calls, that is also psychological pressure.
With abuse, the same person systematically raises their voice in order to humiliate another person and pin the role of victim on them. If it is an argument in a meeting of colleagues to resolve work issues, it is not abuse, and you should not take offense or make claims against your boss. But if being shouted at is unpleasant and unacceptable to you, you need to say so directly: "Don't shout at me." Say it calmly, firmly and confidently.
People often do not realize how they end up in emotional abuse, and find themselves there too late: when they already have depression, nervous breakdowns, and health problems begin. Their self-esteem and confidence in themselves and their abilities are already at a level that is very hard to restore. That is why, once a person is in this state, they can get out of it only with a specialist.
If a person is self-sufficient and realized early that they are under psychological pressure, they should try to build as much distance as possible, learn to say "no," try not to react, and understand clearly that this is only work and should not be carried into the rest of their life. In reality this is extremely hard, so to preserve your mental and physical health, the best option is to turn around and leave.
Have you ever faced psychological abuse at work? How did you get out of it?